For a number of years I have been living in a home that has been cluttered. I have been leaving the beds unmade, I have been going to bed and leaving washing up in the sink, at times the washing piles up and there are piles of clean washing waiting to be put away. Each morning I have been getting up, looking around me and feeling a touch of sadness. Until now I couldn't quite put the finger on why I was feeling this sadness, because my life is so good in so many ways.
Over the past week or so I have been putting some effort into decluttering, tidying up, changing things around a bit and cleaning. It feels good. In the mornings I have been getting up and looking at these new tidy areas and it is making me happy. Instead of getting up and feeling that bit of sadness I am noticing feelings of happiness.
Over the last couple of days I feel like something has changed. I have had one of those light bulb moments. I have finally worked out the relationship between my getting up in the morning and feeling 'yuck' and the clutter and unfinished jobs around me, compared to my getting up in the morning and feeling happy and some new clean, tidy, uncluttered areas. It now seems obvious, but it didn't before.
I have known for a long time that when I eat healthily I feel good. I have known that when I exercise I feel better. I have known that I feel better when the relationships I have in my life are healthy ones. For some reason though I did not link the state of the house to how I felt in the morning and through the day. Maybe it was there in the back of my mind somewhere, but I didn't want to hear it. Maybe I was rebelling against the people that told me that 'a tidy house means a tidy mind.' Maybe I was rebelling against my parents who always have a very neat and tidy home and yard. I don't know, but I am happy that I have now worked this out for myself. I am a bit like that, I don't like people to tell me how to do things. I need to work it out myself, in my own time.
So, what am I doing about it? I am changing things in 'baby steps'. Each day I am setting a timer and spending 10 minutes decluttering an area. I am then making an effort to ensure that area stays tidy. I am making the beds in the morning, or getting the person that slept in the bed to make it or to help me make it. I am making an effort each night to have all the washing up done. I haven't quite mastered this yet, but I'm working on it. Step by step I'm making my way through the house, room by room, shelf by shelf, baby steps. It didn't get this way overnight and I'm not going to get it how I want it overnight, but each 'baby step' is making me so happy.
I am ready for change. I am ready to live in a tidy, clean, uncluttered home. I deserve it. I am worth it. I am ready to do the work.